Upon arrival to the Steiner Ranch Steakhouse my wife and I were greeted by an obnoxious valet “punk” for lack of a better word. He seemed quite put out over the fact that I was curious as to weather or not this service was free. After receiving some snide remark I decided to park my own vehicle. I had made a reservation approximately three days prior, requesting a table with a view or some ambiance, since it was the fourth of July night and I wanted to be sure my wife and I got a table in a timely fashion. We checked in at the front desk right on time, if my memory serves me it was around 7:00pm. I was told it was going to be around a fifteen minute wait. No problem, my wife and I grabbed a drink at the outside bar from a female bartender with the nicest scowl on her face. It was around 101 degrees outside and not even the misters were keeping her cool enough to perform her job with a smile.

After about an HOUR past our reservation we decided to go check on our table. It seems they had forgotten about us and once again blew us off for another fifteen minutes or so. Our table was finally ready one hour and fifteen minutes after our reservation time. We were seated in the worst location possible, at a table for four just outside the kitchen doorway to the dining room. Thanks for the table with the view or some ambiance. Instead we watched the wait staff come and go all night long.

The food was far from memorable. I had the Chilean Sea bass which was a flavorless flop under the guise of being something fancy all wrapped up in a Banana Leaf. It sounded good off of the menu but was a huge disappointment. This is coming from a guy who orders Chilean Sea Bass at every opportunity (might I recommend Eddie V’s Arboretum for their Chilean Sea Bass in Garlic and Butter…to die for!) The Orzo rice medley was watery and reminded me of Rice-a-Roni. My wife had the Medallions of Beef which were smothered in some sort of sauce. Medallions of beef should not be smothered in anything. Her mashed potatoes and vegetables were nothing to write home about.

We decided to see if we could take something positive away from the meal and ordered the Raspberry Sorbet for desert. We received two generous scoops of what tasted like store bought sorbet positioned on the same plate so as to resemble a perfectly round pair of woman’s breasts (sorry…but that’s exactly what it reminded us of).

We were then treated to some extremely generic live cover music on our way out the door. The best part of the evening was watching the firework show over Lake Travis which had absolutely nothing to do with the Steiner Ranch Steakhouse.

Obviously, the Steiner Family has deep pockets and are extremely influential about the area, however since I have absolutely nothing to lose and don’t need to suck up to the Steiner family I thought I would tell it like it is, not how the Steiner Family would like it to be. Needless to say, our first visit to the Steiner Ranch Steakhouse was our last and we will not recommend this joint to anyone, except for maybe a cocktail and a sunset. Too bad nobody else feels the same way we do…chickens!

I’m sure the next review I read about the Steiner Ranch Steakhouse will be just like all the others…Bulls@!T. Thanks for your time.

With regard to seating (at any restaurant) I always check out the table first – we’ll ask to move if we’re not satisfied with the location. In fact, more often than not we don’t take the first choice offered us.